F I R E B O R N
CHAPTER TEN
The Thunderstorm
Fíli opened his eyes and immediately closed them again. He wanted to return to the dream world he had just left, a world where Kíli was with him.
A fire flickered next to him, or rather the near extinguished light of glowing coal. His hand touched a rocky, ice-cold surface, but the ground beneath his back was soothingly warm. Fíli soon realized that he was wrapped in Elir's fur coat. He tried to sit up, but his body was too stiff and numb to move. Lifting his head to look around was torture. His head swam and spun and for a long while he dared not move at all. When the daze finally wore off he carefully tilted his head to one side and spied through the dim light. He could see his new friend's sleeping form across the fire bed, back turned, and behind him the opening of the cave in which they were lying. Elir had built a wall of rocks in the opening to protect them. A hole like a window was dug out in the wall for smoke to escape, and through it he could see a storm raging outside. Rain made it impossible to see anything and beyond it was a rim of darkness. A flash of lightning blinded Fíli where he lay watching the rain. Soon followed an explosion of sound so loud that the whole cave shook around him.
Fíli wished the ground would crumble and let him fall into a deep abyss where he could sleep and never wake up. He had no idea how long he had been out. In his dreams he had been with Kíli. They fought against vicious monsters and vile creatures side by side in the greatest battle known to the Dwarven race. They had been armed, fighting fit and victorious. Uncle had been proud, their mother overjoyed. Fíli and Kíli had stood together, just like they always had and always would. The dream world had been a paradise.
The real world was hell itself.
He had failed to protect his brother, doomed him to suffer at the hands of Men who deserved no better than the orcs Fíli had slain in his dream. He did not care how the fight on the field had ended. He did not care that Elir was safe and had managed to get them both away alive. All that mattered was Kíli. A lifetime of protecting and caring for his baby brother made no difference if Fíli could not save him now — he was a failure as a brother. His fingers found their way inside his shirt, searching the area around his neck where the lockets should have hung. There was nothing there. The two pendants were gone. Fíli had even failed at keeping them safe.
While Fíli fret over this, Elir stirred in the corner and woke up with a start. He was on his feet and wearily scanned the small cave for danger. He came to his senses when he saw Fíli was awake and watching him with blue eyes full of sadness and wonder. Elir waited for him to speak, or ask the question he already knew was coming, but Fíli said nothing. He did not need to. As Elir could read the question in the younger's eyes, Fíli could see the answer that Elir did not wish to give on his face as clear as if it had been spoken. Elir had not been able to save Kíli either, and by the looks of the cave he had not found Della. A surge of mutual pain went through both Dwarves, followed by the relief that they still had each other, a feeling neither of them could express due to their wounded honor.
"Are you hungry?" Elir asked, shifting his gaze. "I only managed to get my supplies when we fled and the horses were scared. I was outnumbered and carrying you on my back, so I could not follow the horses or get your backpa—"
"Elir, stop it," said Fíli calmly. He was surprised at the frailty of his own voice, and it painfully reminded him of his brother's muteness. "It wasn't your fault."
Very, very slowly, Elir helped Fíli to sit up against the cave wall. While most of his body was limber now, apart from his once again sprained ankle, pain like spears went through his neck and shoulder whenever he tried to move them. He could not see the wound, but he could feel it — a deep cut just above the collarbone, stretching all the way from his right upper shoulder to the left scapular. The wound has just scraped the skin above his spinal cord, a strike of pure luck for Fíli or the injury would have been fatal.
Elir went to the cave opening and grabbed a rock from the hole, only it wasn't a rock, but a small cup that had filled with rain water, and handed it to Fíli. Fíli emptied in a single sweep, wishing for more. The water was ice cold and the chill of it going down his throat brought life back to his insides.
"There's more where that came from," Elir said, smiling half-heartedly. "It doesn't look like this storm is going to pass anytime soon."
As Elir put the cup back in the window, a flash of lightning lit up the young Dwarf's face. There was a gash on his temple, not very deep but wide open and fleshy. Blood had dried around the wound and the skin around it was flushed and irritated.
Fíli knew little of the healing art, aside from what he'd witnessed Óin perform, but that was enough. "We need to treat that."
"I used the bandages on your shoulder," Elir replied. "You needed them more."
"How were you injured?"
"I don't know if you remember, but there was a Man that attacked you by that wagon. After he gave you that wound I thought he had killed you, so I fought him."
Fíli was astonished, learning that Elir had battled Beidon and survived. "How did we escape?"
"I killed him. Put an axe in his back."
There were no words to express Fíli's amazement. Although he did not remember much of the fight before he was knocked out, he remembered Beidon. He had feared that Man since that time by the forest road near three weeks ago. The image of his rage-twisted face and the bloodied sword in his hand on the field had left permanent scars on Fíli's mind. He felt like he should be relieved that such a vile creature was gone from the world, but just couldn't. He imagined Elir slaying Beidon, and it had Fíli see his comrade in a whole new way, with obeisance and pride.
They sat quiet for a good long while just listening to the thunder rolling down the mountains, the flashes of lightning lighting up the insides of the cave. Fíli cuddled up in Elir's fur coat and Elir made due with his under coat, refusing Fíli's offer to share by saying he was not very cold. They saved what little they had left of the firewood that Elir had so thoughtfully collected before barricading them inside the cave, knowing that any wood they might find if they went outside now would be drenched and useless. They took turns trying to sleep, with Fíli making sure to take first watch since Elir had been awake far too long already. The young blacksmith soon fell into a deep and dreamless sleep, curled up as if to warm himself, as the last of the glowing fire died out. Carefully as not to rouse the sleeping Dwarf with his groans of pain, Fíli carefully crawled over and spread the fur coat over Elir. Then he sat beside him, watching over him as the breaths come and leave his body. It was soothing. In this light, though it was near no light at all, Elir looked very much like Kíli.
His heart got heavier with the thought of his little brother, but it also helped bear the burden to imagine that it was Kíli's sleeping form in the darkness beside him. Then, without hesitation, Fíli started to sing. It was a beautiful song, mournful as only the lone moon hopelessly trying to illuminate the night outside. It was the only song Fíli could think of now that sorrow was so close.
A fire flickered next to him, or rather the near extinguished light of glowing coal. His hand touched a rocky, ice-cold surface, but the ground beneath his back was soothingly warm. Fíli soon realized that he was wrapped in Elir's fur coat. He tried to sit up, but his body was too stiff and numb to move. Lifting his head to look around was torture. His head swam and spun and for a long while he dared not move at all. When the daze finally wore off he carefully tilted his head to one side and spied through the dim light. He could see his new friend's sleeping form across the fire bed, back turned, and behind him the opening of the cave in which they were lying. Elir had built a wall of rocks in the opening to protect them. A hole like a window was dug out in the wall for smoke to escape, and through it he could see a storm raging outside. Rain made it impossible to see anything and beyond it was a rim of darkness. A flash of lightning blinded Fíli where he lay watching the rain. Soon followed an explosion of sound so loud that the whole cave shook around him.
Fíli wished the ground would crumble and let him fall into a deep abyss where he could sleep and never wake up. He had no idea how long he had been out. In his dreams he had been with Kíli. They fought against vicious monsters and vile creatures side by side in the greatest battle known to the Dwarven race. They had been armed, fighting fit and victorious. Uncle had been proud, their mother overjoyed. Fíli and Kíli had stood together, just like they always had and always would. The dream world had been a paradise.
The real world was hell itself.
He had failed to protect his brother, doomed him to suffer at the hands of Men who deserved no better than the orcs Fíli had slain in his dream. He did not care how the fight on the field had ended. He did not care that Elir was safe and had managed to get them both away alive. All that mattered was Kíli. A lifetime of protecting and caring for his baby brother made no difference if Fíli could not save him now — he was a failure as a brother. His fingers found their way inside his shirt, searching the area around his neck where the lockets should have hung. There was nothing there. The two pendants were gone. Fíli had even failed at keeping them safe.
While Fíli fret over this, Elir stirred in the corner and woke up with a start. He was on his feet and wearily scanned the small cave for danger. He came to his senses when he saw Fíli was awake and watching him with blue eyes full of sadness and wonder. Elir waited for him to speak, or ask the question he already knew was coming, but Fíli said nothing. He did not need to. As Elir could read the question in the younger's eyes, Fíli could see the answer that Elir did not wish to give on his face as clear as if it had been spoken. Elir had not been able to save Kíli either, and by the looks of the cave he had not found Della. A surge of mutual pain went through both Dwarves, followed by the relief that they still had each other, a feeling neither of them could express due to their wounded honor.
"Are you hungry?" Elir asked, shifting his gaze. "I only managed to get my supplies when we fled and the horses were scared. I was outnumbered and carrying you on my back, so I could not follow the horses or get your backpa—"
"Elir, stop it," said Fíli calmly. He was surprised at the frailty of his own voice, and it painfully reminded him of his brother's muteness. "It wasn't your fault."
Very, very slowly, Elir helped Fíli to sit up against the cave wall. While most of his body was limber now, apart from his once again sprained ankle, pain like spears went through his neck and shoulder whenever he tried to move them. He could not see the wound, but he could feel it — a deep cut just above the collarbone, stretching all the way from his right upper shoulder to the left scapular. The wound has just scraped the skin above his spinal cord, a strike of pure luck for Fíli or the injury would have been fatal.
Elir went to the cave opening and grabbed a rock from the hole, only it wasn't a rock, but a small cup that had filled with rain water, and handed it to Fíli. Fíli emptied in a single sweep, wishing for more. The water was ice cold and the chill of it going down his throat brought life back to his insides.
"There's more where that came from," Elir said, smiling half-heartedly. "It doesn't look like this storm is going to pass anytime soon."
As Elir put the cup back in the window, a flash of lightning lit up the young Dwarf's face. There was a gash on his temple, not very deep but wide open and fleshy. Blood had dried around the wound and the skin around it was flushed and irritated.
Fíli knew little of the healing art, aside from what he'd witnessed Óin perform, but that was enough. "We need to treat that."
"I used the bandages on your shoulder," Elir replied. "You needed them more."
"How were you injured?"
"I don't know if you remember, but there was a Man that attacked you by that wagon. After he gave you that wound I thought he had killed you, so I fought him."
Fíli was astonished, learning that Elir had battled Beidon and survived. "How did we escape?"
"I killed him. Put an axe in his back."
There were no words to express Fíli's amazement. Although he did not remember much of the fight before he was knocked out, he remembered Beidon. He had feared that Man since that time by the forest road near three weeks ago. The image of his rage-twisted face and the bloodied sword in his hand on the field had left permanent scars on Fíli's mind. He felt like he should be relieved that such a vile creature was gone from the world, but just couldn't. He imagined Elir slaying Beidon, and it had Fíli see his comrade in a whole new way, with obeisance and pride.
They sat quiet for a good long while just listening to the thunder rolling down the mountains, the flashes of lightning lighting up the insides of the cave. Fíli cuddled up in Elir's fur coat and Elir made due with his under coat, refusing Fíli's offer to share by saying he was not very cold. They saved what little they had left of the firewood that Elir had so thoughtfully collected before barricading them inside the cave, knowing that any wood they might find if they went outside now would be drenched and useless. They took turns trying to sleep, with Fíli making sure to take first watch since Elir had been awake far too long already. The young blacksmith soon fell into a deep and dreamless sleep, curled up as if to warm himself, as the last of the glowing fire died out. Carefully as not to rouse the sleeping Dwarf with his groans of pain, Fíli carefully crawled over and spread the fur coat over Elir. Then he sat beside him, watching over him as the breaths come and leave his body. It was soothing. In this light, though it was near no light at all, Elir looked very much like Kíli.
His heart got heavier with the thought of his little brother, but it also helped bear the burden to imagine that it was Kíli's sleeping form in the darkness beside him. Then, without hesitation, Fíli started to sing. It was a beautiful song, mournful as only the lone moon hopelessly trying to illuminate the night outside. It was the only song Fíli could think of now that sorrow was so close.
Come stand with me by the graves of old
Graves of past
Graves of gold
Names that never be forgot
May they never be forgot
Hail the lord and all his kin
Hail the prince
Hail the king
Mahal, may your glory shine
Upon the names of Durin's line
To all the brave that tales can tell
Fought with honor
Fought and fell
May them rise through rock and stone
To find their only rightful home
Come stand with me in the ancient halls
Hark! the trumpets
Hark! the calls
Glowing is the golden light
Son and father reunite
Fíli did not have the heart to continue. He gazed down at Elir, expecting to see him still sleeping. Instead a pair of honey brown eyes spied back at him. Fíli turned away, ashamed at having been caught singing like this. He was not known among his friends to have an especially beautiful singing voice. But Elir only smiled sadly.
"Della is a nasty little creature. You can never see her coming, and there's always some prank being planned in her wicked little mind. She's unbelievably strong for such a small thing. I can't even try to fight her off when she jumps me and starts to tickle me. She wants adventure and excitement, not just the peaceful, quiet life of a landlord's daughter that father wants for her. I used to take her with me to the forges of Ewardor to grandfather whenever I could, but she was so facinated with the fire that she burned herself and we had to send her home. Grandfather never allowed her near the forges again after that."
Fíli listened as he always did when Elir started telling him things out of the blue, for this was the story he had not yet heard — the story of his sister, the one who had been taken from him just like Kíli had been taken from Fíli.
"Still, she was always running about Narendor causing trouble for herself. There was this day when she was out in the woods by our house, chasing squirrels or something. Father told me to keep an eye on her, just in case she would do something reckless. And she did. She got caught in a very tall tree and she got scared. She couldn't climb down on her own. I tried to help her find the courage, but she just couldn't open her eyes and climb back down. There was nobody else around to help her, so I climbed up after her. Only, the branches were not strong enough to carry my weight, and they snapped. I fell and hit my head on the ground. I was out for two days, they say.
"I don't remember anything after I fell, but my mother told me that Della had fetched some Men from the village and they had brought me to a healer. Della, so little and so afraid of heights, had climbed down that tall tree on her own when she saw that I was injured, and ran all the way to the market to find help. And you know what she said to me when I woke up?"
Fíli didn't even try to guess, he was too caught up in Elir's story. Elir's eyes lit up with joyful memories. "She told me that if I wanted to she would teach me how to not fall from trees, so that I would not get hurt again. I had protected her all my life, and there she was wanting to protect me. I had thought she was too reckless to look after herself, but I was wrong. She was strong enough to take care of the both of us."
The power of those last words hit Fíli square in the heart. He wasn't sure if it was what Elir wanted to say, but he knew what it meant for himself. Kíli was no dwarfling anymore, unable to take responsibility or find a solution in a hard situation. There were times when he had cared for Fíli, times when he had sat by his older brother's bedside and kept the mood up with jokes and laughter. Was it so much to ask of Fíli for him to have a little faith in his little brother? No, it was not. Kíli was strong. He would not let the evil of the kidnappers get to him. He had survived captivity and torture till now. There was no reason for Fíli to fall into despair and grief before the battle was even over.
"I do not know if Della is still alive," Elir said, not even a hint of sadness on his voice. "But it will not help her for me to fear that she is. I will fight for her, alive or dead, till my last breath. And I know that you would do the same for your brother."
It was like the darkness was no longer as thick as it had been when he woke up. The air seemed easier to breathe. Yes, he would believe that his brother was strong enough to keep himself alive until Fíli could save him. He would not give up on Kíli, not now and not ever. Just like Elir would never give up on Della.
"Della is a nasty little creature. You can never see her coming, and there's always some prank being planned in her wicked little mind. She's unbelievably strong for such a small thing. I can't even try to fight her off when she jumps me and starts to tickle me. She wants adventure and excitement, not just the peaceful, quiet life of a landlord's daughter that father wants for her. I used to take her with me to the forges of Ewardor to grandfather whenever I could, but she was so facinated with the fire that she burned herself and we had to send her home. Grandfather never allowed her near the forges again after that."
Fíli listened as he always did when Elir started telling him things out of the blue, for this was the story he had not yet heard — the story of his sister, the one who had been taken from him just like Kíli had been taken from Fíli.
"Still, she was always running about Narendor causing trouble for herself. There was this day when she was out in the woods by our house, chasing squirrels or something. Father told me to keep an eye on her, just in case she would do something reckless. And she did. She got caught in a very tall tree and she got scared. She couldn't climb down on her own. I tried to help her find the courage, but she just couldn't open her eyes and climb back down. There was nobody else around to help her, so I climbed up after her. Only, the branches were not strong enough to carry my weight, and they snapped. I fell and hit my head on the ground. I was out for two days, they say.
"I don't remember anything after I fell, but my mother told me that Della had fetched some Men from the village and they had brought me to a healer. Della, so little and so afraid of heights, had climbed down that tall tree on her own when she saw that I was injured, and ran all the way to the market to find help. And you know what she said to me when I woke up?"
Fíli didn't even try to guess, he was too caught up in Elir's story. Elir's eyes lit up with joyful memories. "She told me that if I wanted to she would teach me how to not fall from trees, so that I would not get hurt again. I had protected her all my life, and there she was wanting to protect me. I had thought she was too reckless to look after herself, but I was wrong. She was strong enough to take care of the both of us."
The power of those last words hit Fíli square in the heart. He wasn't sure if it was what Elir wanted to say, but he knew what it meant for himself. Kíli was no dwarfling anymore, unable to take responsibility or find a solution in a hard situation. There were times when he had cared for Fíli, times when he had sat by his older brother's bedside and kept the mood up with jokes and laughter. Was it so much to ask of Fíli for him to have a little faith in his little brother? No, it was not. Kíli was strong. He would not let the evil of the kidnappers get to him. He had survived captivity and torture till now. There was no reason for Fíli to fall into despair and grief before the battle was even over.
"I do not know if Della is still alive," Elir said, not even a hint of sadness on his voice. "But it will not help her for me to fear that she is. I will fight for her, alive or dead, till my last breath. And I know that you would do the same for your brother."
It was like the darkness was no longer as thick as it had been when he woke up. The air seemed easier to breathe. Yes, he would believe that his brother was strong enough to keep himself alive until Fíli could save him. He would not give up on Kíli, not now and not ever. Just like Elir would never give up on Della.